The Book of Job: Worst Book of the Bible

If anyone reading the bible actually has any doubts that it isn’t real, there is one book that, above all others, should convince them that either a) god isn’t real or b) if he is real, he isn’t worth worshiping.

I’ll start out by posting a summary of the book of job from wikipedia:

There was an extremely pious man named Job. He was very prosperous, and had seven sons and three daughters. Constantly fearing that his sons may have sinned and “cursed God in their hearts”, he habitually offered burnt offerings as a pardon for their sins.^[2]

The “sons of God” (a phrase commonly interpreted as referring to the angels) and Satan (literally, the Hebrew word means “the accuser” or “the adversary”) present themselves to God. God asks Satan his opinion on Job, apparently a truly pious man. Satan answers that Job is pious only because he is prosperous. In response to Satan’s assertion, God gives Satan permission to destroy Job’s possessions and family.^[3]

All of Job’s possessions are destroyed and a ‘ruach‘ (wind/spirit) causes the house of the firstborn to collapse killing all of Job’s offspring who were gathered for a feast^{[note 1]}. Job does not curse God after this but instead shaves his head, tears his clothes and says, “Naked I came out of my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return : Lord has given, and Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of Lord” (Simplified).^[4]

As Job endures these calamities without reproaching Divine Providence, Satan solicits permission to afflict his person as well, and God says, “Behold, he is in your hand, but don’t touch his life.” Satan, therefore, smites him with dreadful boils, and Job, seated in ashes, scrapes his skin with broken pottery. His wife prompts him to “curse God, and die” but Job answers, “You speak as one of the foolish speaks. Moreover, shall we receive good from God and shall not receive evil?”

Three friends of Job, Eliphaz the Temanite, Bildad the Shuhite, and Zophar the Naamathite, come to console him. And the three of Job’s friends heard all this evil that came on him, and they came every man from his place — Eliphaz the Temanite (Heb: Aliphaz the Thimanite), Bildad the Shuhite (Heb: Bildad the Shuchite), and Zophar Naamathite (Heb: Zuphar the Nomathite). A fourth, Elihu the Buzite (Heb: Alieua ben Barakal the Buzite), first begins talking in chapter 32 and plays a significant role in the dialogue; however, his arrival is not described. The friends spend 7 days sitting on the ground with Job, without saying anything to him because they see that he is suffering and in much pain. Job at last breaks his silence and “curses the day he was born”.

There are a lot of problems with the story and I’ll start by pointing a few:

• In 1:7 god asks satan where he’s been lately and satan replies that he is just been walking around a bit.  Wait?  God didn’t KNOW where satan was???
• In 1:6 it says that the “sons of god” came before him……wait….sons?  What about jesus?  I thought he was the ONLY begotten son?
• In 2:3 god says Job was perfect and upright.  Wait?  I thought jesus was the only perfect man!
• In 7:9 it says that what goes to the grave shall come up no more.  What about all that stuff about busting from the grave?
• In 9:6 it talks about pillars the earth rests upon.  Don’t know about you, but this wasn’t in my science textbook.
• In 14:10 and 14:12 it talks about how death is final.  And there isn’t anything more.
• In 21:24 – apparently HIS breasts are full of milk.  Wow…
• In 37:10 apparently the frost is the breath of god.
• In 37:18 we are told that god spread out the sky and it is hard like a mirror.  Hmmm
• In 39:9 we are told about the unicorns!  Where is candy mountain Charlie Job?
• In 39:13-17 we are told ostriches are stupid birds who lay eggs and forget about them.  They don’t care for them and then treat them like they were not hers.  Then it goes on to say that they are this way because god make them without understanding.  Firstly, ostriches are not stupid and do a very good job of caring for their young.  Just another science mistake by the all knowing god.
• In 42:2 job tells god that he knows god can’t do everything…..really?
• And finally job lives to be 140.  Very impressive

Now those are just the few contradictions.  Now lets look at the ACTUAL story itself.

So Satan and God were having a little chit chat.  Apparently Job was a good guy.  Had a wife and a family and was pretty well off.  So Satan says that if he didn’t have so much, he wouldn’t be so good.  So god says, oh really.  So Job’s family is killed, loses all his wealth, and becomes sickly.

THIS is the god of the christians?  To prove a point he murders a good man’s family?  What did Job do to deserve this?  Nothing.  God just wanted to prove a point to satan.  Just like the god’s of Olympus, god apparently, on a whim, kills, destroys, takes, and all in the name of fun.

But despite all this, the part that really makes me mad is that christians FAR from push this book to the hind end of the bible or replace it with something more appropriate, they celebrate this book!  They actually march it out and PREACH about it.  I’ve even heard sermons where they talk about how WONDERFUL god is for restoring Job!  This is just crazy!  In the new testament Job is celebrated as a testament of of perseverance in suffering!  WHAT?  If it weren’t for god and his gambling problem, Job wouldn’t have had to suffer OR persevere!

This reminds me of those people who ask for prayer after a bad wreck.  I’m wondering why they don’t ask for god to not have a wreck in the first place – oh wait…they do.  And there are still wrecks.   Even christians have wrecks!

So if you ever wonder why bad things happen to good people, just read the book of Job.  Maybe god is just having a josh at your expense with satan!