Conversations with mother

So, my partner and I are moving to Washington, DC.  We’ve told our family.  Everything was going really well…..until…..

A few night ago I was talking with my mother.  Once again, I mentioned the move.  She acted like she had not heard this before.  The conversation on the phone went something like this:

Mom – So you are really going to move.

Me – Yes, we are.

Mom – You are making a big mistake.  I don’t know why you don’t understand the cost of living is so much more up there.

Me – I know, but my salary will be double what it is here.

Mom – It won’t matter.  It is a mistake and I’m not going to help you if you get into trouble.

Me – But we want kids.  We can’t do that here.

Mom – Well, you weren’t meant to have kids.  Marriage is between a man a woman.  Two men aren’t suppose to have kids.

Me – I think you are wrong.

Mom – I’m not wrong.  If you move, I won’t be hear for you when you need help.

I tried to hide my hurt and quickly changed the subject.  I realized that no amount of talking or discussion will change her mind.  This is what religion does to people.  THIS is why my mother is supportive of me.  She basically disowned me again.  My partner and I have been together for 19 years.  We’ve been to my parent’s house.  We’ve spent the night.  We’ve celebrated christmas with them.  But apparently it was all an act.  She doesn’t support us – therefore she doesn’t support me.

Not to mention the fact, that she says, very firmly, that if anything goes wrong, she will not be there for me and won’t help me.  Can you imagine telling your child that?  I can’t.  There are MANY straight couples who NEVER should be parents.  But because of my sexuality, my mother things I wouldn’t be a good parent.  Unfortunately, this means that she will never accept her grandchildren.  And I won’t expose them to that.

The sad thing is, I’d be there for her no matter what.  😦

Goodbye mother.  Wishing you well….


4 Responses to “Conversations with mother”

  1. Your comment on Atheist Revolution very funny. Love it ! well done keep up the good work.Look forward to reading more !

  2. My bad , I had a look around your blog nice posts can’t wait for the next !

  3. Man, that is sad. It’s not your fault that your mom apparently thinks that it’s all about her and won’t accept you for what you are. Stand firm. You’re doing the right thing.

    I broke with my mother over her (similar) narcissism and never spoke to her again until shortly before she died, but it was too late to repair
    the relationship, which was beyond fixing anyway.

  4. Mr. Apostate Says:

    Your right it is what religion does to folks. I agree with Levy too that this is (very) sad, but I’m not sure I agree with all of the rest of the comment concerning mother(s). Mothers’ love is hard (or impossible) to break, although they may, out of their own disappointment, say some hurtful things. I’m sure she still loves you but finds it difficult to accept your sexuality, or is more comfortable just denying it. But if worse comes to worse, I think that she’ll still be there for you.
    I agree you’re doing the right thing. Enjoy your move and the great new opportunity, but don’t cut your mother off like Levy – you’ll regret that, despite the current difficulties.

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